28 Days
by Cassima
Summary: Duo and Relena must cooperate to save the world. Multi-part; 5x2 yaoi; COMPLETE
1. The Problem

Title: 28 Days  
Author: Cassima  
Summary: Duo and Relena must work together to save the world.  
Warnings: Yaoi, het; 1+2, R+1, 2x5.  
Rating: R for sex and Duo's potty mouth.  
  
*****  
  
"We disappoint,  
We leave a mess,  
We die but we don't.  
We disappoint  
In turn, I guess,  
Forget, though, we won't."  
  
--"No More", *Into the Woods*  
  
*****  
  
Duo was in a nervous fit. Damn Oz! Damn their every waking tendancy and--and just damn them already!  
  
He gave another turn on his heel and paced back across the room, nearly tripping over the numerous large, dusty boxes scattered around the room. Just--damn them!  
  
Across the room, sitting very straight and proper in her grey folding chair and cooly watching him pace back and forth with a haughty air was Relena Peacecraft Darlien. Her hair was perfectly straight, as always, and her back rigid with tension as she watched the Deathscythe pilot pace restlessly.  
  
The friction in the air between them increased exponentially with each passing moment as the two ignored each other with an intensity that would have surprised most of the people that knew them. They studiously concentrated on their own thoughts, filled with their own solutions and life problems, until Relena finally spoke.  
  
"Heero will save me."  
  
This remark had cataclysmic results, effectively destroying the heavy silence. "That's your answer for everything, isn't it? That Heero Yuy will just *drop* everything he's doing to come and once again save your sorry carcass. Well, I hate to rain on your pretty little parade, but he won't be coming, not this time. He doesn't even know where you are."  
  
She tried to interrupt, but his pacing grew faster as his rant grew louder. "Hell, thanks to your little escapade, *no one* who'd be able to do *anything* knows where you are. So, now *I'm* stuck with you, and hell if I know what to do with you!"  
  
"Heero *has* to rescue me," Relena said haughtily, still prim and proper. "I have to be at the trial at the end of the month."  
  
"Well, gee, Oujo-san, shouldn't you have thought of that before you went traipsing off into the Great Unknown and got yourself stuck here with me?" He yanked his hands out of his pockets where he'd jammed them earlier and waved them about in the air. "Is there any *worse* place to be? What possessed you to enter a maximum security area a mere three kilometers away from their main naval base, where Oz can just *stumble* across you?"  
  
"I thought Heero would be here," she muttered, half ashamed, half angry at her treatment. "I wanted to see him. Besides," she tacked on defensively, "*you're* here."  
  
"*I* am not the prize witness in the great court case against Oz, your majesty. I am but a lowly terrorist,"--he bowed sarcastically--"doing my best to terrorize... and they're not any more desperate to kill me than usual."  
  
"Well, then, you'll just have to rescue me." She said it with such calm assurance that Duo finally looked up from the walls and stared at her.  
  
"And just how am I supposed to do that, your majesty?"  
  
"You have a gundam, don't you?"  
  
He gave her an exasperated look. "It's just a robot, Oujo-san. A mecha. It's not magic--though Shinigami *is* pretty damn cool. There's only enough room for one person--and not nearly enough firepower to destroy the amount of crap they got lying around here. Only one of us is leaving with Deathscythe, and it's gonna be *me*, so get those thoughts outta your head!"  
  
"If I don't get to that trial, Oz will win the suit and we'll lose the cooperation of the Southern Hemisphere, and then the colonies will be destroyed!" Her temper had been lit ablaze by now, and she stood and met him, glare for glare.  
  
"Don't you think I know that?" he yelled back furiously. "I'm not dumb, Oujo-san. I'm not the idiot you seem to think I am!"  
  
She was in his face. "I'm not an idiot, either, and don't think I don't know that's how you all think of me. You think I'm stupid for following Heero, stupid for thinking he loves me." She swallowed her tears angrily. "But I know he does."  
  
And, staring her in her cornflower blue eyes, Duo found a glimmering of an idea. It would solve everything. "I know he does," he repeated softly. Yes, he knew who Heero loved. If anyone. "I think I have an idea."  
  
"Great! Let's go!" she said, slightly confused at his change in tone but covering for it neatly.  
  
"It'll take some time, some doing, but I think we can pull it off nicely." Duo remained quiet, but his eyes shone. "I'll need your help."  
  
"What?" she asked, a bit more nervous now. He wasn't planning to *kill* her, was he?  
  
He gestured to the room widely.  
  
She looked around--*really* looked around--for the first time since they got there. They were hidden in an abandoned beauty parlor in an equally abandoned shopping mall, with broken mirrors, dusty, slightly-rusty hair-styling sinks lined in a neat little row, and a corner with makeup boothes and manicure supplies. Boxes of old beauty products were placed randomly around the abandoned salon. The air smelled of old hair and slightly dissapated cleaning supplies, and stale dust. Barber chairs sat in all their vinyl glory beside the remnants of the mirrors, forever caught in mid-swing.  
  
"What?" she asked again. There were plenty of places to hide a dead body here, and she wasn't quite sure that Duo Maxwell was sane.  
  
He sighed, and discarded the idea. "Forget it. Come on, let's go find some food." Stalking off towards the main hall of the mall connected to the salon, he allowed himself to wallow for a bit.  
  
Frankly, honestly, and in all truth, Duo Maxwell was a bit depressed, and he knew it. His week had begun poorly, and he couldn't honestly see it ending any better, especially now that this mess with Relena had started. He was actually starting to like Wufei a little--well, more than a little--and then they had a stupid argument again. And he really had been trying not to tick off the Chinese boy. Really. He had suddenly realized what a great guy Wu was--patient and smart as hell with a really dry sense of humor--don't even mention that gorgous body!--and he'd been thinking that maybe Wu might feel--well, never mind what he'd been thinking. The old Maxwell charm had kicked in and, well, there went their friendship, down the toilet with the rest of his crappy dysfunctional relationships.  
  
Usually when he was having a bad time with life, he went and had a long chat with Quatre over a large pot of tea and a plate of delicious homemade cookies. Quatre could always make him feel better; the Arabian had a knack for knowing exactly what his problem was and saying just the right thing to fix it. Unfortunately for Duo, the blond boy had just discovered that Trowa reciprocated his feelings, and the two were still in what Duo liked to sarcastically refer to as the "googly-eyed honeymoon state". And Trowa didn't really like him right now, ever since Duo's last practical joke had gone slightly awry. Not that Quatre wouldn't stop in the middle of sex with the love of his life if Duo needed help, but Duo didn't want to do that to them. He could handle it by himself for a while.  
  
Plus, he was feeling lonely. And clumsy.  
  
Heero didn't love him.  
  
Ah, the crux of the matter. He was pretty sure Heero didn't even like him; it was painfully obvious by the way the pilot snapped and growled at him, especially lately. At one point, Duo would have sworn the two were friends--perhaps even moving towards something more. Lately, however, this longhaired baka knew Heero was being drawn towards someone else: Relena.  
  
And, sure, the girl was rich. Okay, she was *mildly* pretty. And maybe her voice wasn't *quite* as annoying as Duo liked to make it out to be. She had power coming out her ears, and Heero was attracted to power. Duo couldn't compete with that kind of draw. And Heero wasn't gay. He recalled those cold words, spoken evenly and pointedly: "Duo, I'm not gay." He could respect that; it was mainly his hard work paying off that allowed Heero to be interested in anyone who wasn't a computer, not a small source of pride for the American pilot. With Heero's returning humanity, however, came a declining need for Duo.  
  
And, sure, Wu was turning out to be amazing, but Duo kept saying the stupidest things. Wufei thought he was an idiot. A dumb one.  
  
With Heero's withdrawal and sudden interest in girls--did Relena count as a girl? he spitefully wondered--it was as if his last chance for companionship, for an end to the mundane monotony that life had become. The loneliest person he knew was starting to find peace, and Duo just felt... well... abandoned again. Pathetic, really.  
  
So he allowed himself to be convinced of his own foolish plan, even if Relena's voice grated on his nerves like knuckles against a cheese grater combined with fingernails on a chalkboard.  
  
"Twinkies!" he exclaimed with delight, discovering a Mini-Mart in the mall filled with all sorts of preserved food.  
  
"Those things never die. They'll be around long after Oz destroys the planet."  
  
"I know." He grinned cheesily. "Ain't it grand? All that'll be left of Earth are General Treize and the Twinkie factories, floating about in space." He sighed happily, picturing large chucks of rock, boxes of Twinkies, and a reclining General drifting around weightlessly. "I could eat these things for the rest of my life."  
  
"You'd get sick of them after a week," Relena said disapprovingly, pulling over a shopping basket and beginning to load it up with different cans.  
  
"Nuh-uh, never!" Duo cried enthusiastically, hugging the plastic package to his chest. "The sugar in one of these babies alone could stop a charging rhino in his tracks."  
  
She sighed, a bit mother-hennishly. "Well, I suppose you can try," she remarked disparagingly. "I can't really stop you."  
  
Duo winked at her, good mood slightly restored now that he had a plan. "Join the fun, Oujo-san, live a little. I bet you've never even been drunk."  
  
Her eyes darkened a little, before she brought her head back up proudly. "I refuse to speak of such things with one such as you."  
  
He rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. Let's go eat." He wandered back to a dusty table in one of the mall's restaurants and set his boxes down proudly before going back to help Relena carry her basket. "Why'd you bring so much? It's not like it's going anywhere. We can always go back for more."  
  
She blushed. "Um... I don't know." She wondered why he was acting so nice.  
  
They sat down together, and Duo ripped open the first package and deeply inhaled the smell of the plasticky, eternally young and fresh pastry.  
  
Relena pulled out a can of green beans and stared at it.   
  
Duo grinned and took a big bite of his Twinkie.  
  
Relena continued to stare at her can. "...Duo?" she asked quietly.  
  
"MMMmmmmmmm..." he purred, eating the rest with a single gulp and ripping open a new package.  
  
She looked down at the can and then back up at Duo. "Duo?" she tried again.  
  
He was on his third Twinkie. "I'm so hungry..."  
  
"Duo!" she said, a little louder.  
  
He smiled sweetly at her, white frosting stuck between his teeth. "Yes, Oujo-san?"  
  
She blushed. "How are your Twinkies?"  
  
He paused in the middle of tearing open a new package. "Tastes like cardboard," he admitted ruefully. "How's your dinner?"  
  
She blushed deeper. "Um... do you have a can opener?"  
  
Surprised, he shook his head.  
  
They both stared at the can.  
  
*****  
  
"This silverware is crap," he declared, tossing away yet another broken butterknife and staring resolutely at the dented can of green beans on the table in front of them. "I can't believe that in a mall like this there isn't a can opener *anywhere*!" Picking up a hammer they'd taken from the hardware department, he once again began to bang half-heartedly at the stubborn food container.  
  
Watching him, Relena began to giggle.  
  
"What?" he asked grumpily.  
  
She just giggled harder.  
  
He took another whack at the can, nice and hard. It dented and went rolling, but still refused to open.  
  
She burst out laughing.  
  
Against his own will, he began to smile.  
  
She was laughing louder.  
  
He began to laugh, too, reluctantly at first, but then more freely. Soon, they were both holding on to each other, in tears, and gasping for breath. Two of the most powerful people in the world, beaten by a can of beans.  
  
"Some gundam pilot," she giggled, regaining a modicum of control.  
  
"Some Queen of the World," he returned, and they were both gone again.  
  
Some time later, after the giggles faded and they could breathe again, the tension was gone. Suddenly, Duo groaned.  
  
"You have a Swiss Army Knife, don't you?" Relena accused, giggling again.  
  
"Why didn't you think of that earlier?" Duo demanded, mock-ferociously, and they were both lost again.  
  
After they had both subjected themselves to cans of cold condensed rice-and-mushroom soup and kidney beans, they headed off to the mattress store, where a little of their former tension returned.  
  
"You can't sleep in here with me," Relena protested. "It's improper."  
  
Duo rolled his eyes and groaned. "Oujo-san, I'm not going to bespoil your honor or whatever you think I'm going to do."  
  
"I don't care," she said, crossing her arms stubbornly. "It's not right for you to see me in a state of undress."  
  
He stared at the ceiling in annoyance. "Well, your majesty, how about if I sleep on the other side of the store?"  
  
"It's a tiny store!" she cried crossly.  
  
"Where else am I supposed to go?" he cried, frustrated.  
  
She looked pointedly at one of the wooden benches towards the other side of the mall.  
  
He kicked off his boots and untucked his shirt. "Look, Relena, I'm sorry if I'm doing something screwy to your dignity or whatever, but I'm sleeping right here. I'm not even going to look at you." He laid down and pulled the covers over his head, facing the wall.  
  
Still wanting to put up a fight but not knowing how, she stomped over and turned out the lights before getting into her own bed.  
  
It was quiet for a moment; Duo quietly said a short prayer to Shinigami.  
  
Just as he was falling asleep, he heard a quiet voice. "Duo?"  
  
He sighed. "Yeah, Relena?"  
  
There was a short pause. "Do you really have a plan?"  
  
He thought for a moment about his original plan. It was dumb. It was stupid. It was...  
  
"Yeah, Oujo-san. I've got a plan."  
  
There was another pause.  
  
"Thank you," she whispered, and they both fell asleep.  
  
*****  
  
After some stale crackers and cold canned broccoli for breakfast, they returned to the salon.  
  
"What are we doing here?" Relena asked.  
  
"Cleaning this place up," Duo replied, tossing her a dry mop and picking up the tool kit he'd snagged from the hardware store.  
  
"Why? We're going to cut Oz's hair?" It was sarcastically said with a skeptical, amused look.  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Just get to work."  
  
"But--"  
  
"I'll explain after it's done." He wanted to give himself as much time as possible to think of a new plan. One less demeaning.  
  
*****  
  
It was hard work, but by the time they were done, the place looked... well, if not good, then at least passable. The lights all had to be replaced, and the pipes were creaky and rusty. The floor was no longer grimy and a gritty brown, but a shiny cream. The broken glass had all been thrown away, and the remaining mirrors polished and scrubbed until they shone perfectly.  
  
Five days of hard labor went into this one room. Five precious days where they had worked side by side, bickering pettily over everything from the choice of music to who was slacking off. They studiously avoided the topic of Heero, which limited their common interests dramatically.  
  
And Duo had come up with no better solution.  
  
So, they sat down in the spinning barber chairs and talked about the plan.  
  
"We're going to switch places."  
  
Relena raised a skeptical eyebrow. "That's not the plan."  
  
He nodded, more serious than she had ever seen him. "It's simple: we have 23 days to teach you to be me and me to be you. Then, you're going to take Deathscythe and fly to safety and I'm going to get captured by Oz."  
  
"That's ridiculous!" she exclaimed heatedly. "I can't teach you to be a girl! Preposterous! Oz'll see through that right away! Furthermore, how exactly do you intend to escape from them after they figure out you're not me? And there're things they're bound to notice."  
  
"I've got that worked out," he insisted, waving it off. "And we have *got* to work together on this. Don't think teaching you to be a guy is going to be a piece of cake."  
  
She sniffed. "How hard can it be? All you guys do is scratch and grunt and pee standing. I can handle all that." She blushed. "Except for the peeing standing, of course."  
  
He buried his face in his hands. This was going to take longer than 23 days.  
  
*****  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" Duo cried, half-indignant, half-amused. "You look like one leg is shorter than the other!"  
  
"I'm walking like you do!" Relena protested crossly. "These boots are way too big!"  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Our shoe size is almost the same, Oujo-san. And, it's more of a swagger and less of a limp." He demonstrated again, walking across the room. "Relax your posture! Let your shoulders go! You're holding too much tension!"  
  
She took a few more clumsy steps, took one look at Duo's stifled laughter, and stopped in her tracks. "This is ridiculous!" she spat, clenching her fists. "You're just trying to make me look stupid!"  
  
Duo sighed. "Oi. Why do you act like the world will shatter if you relax?" At her dumbfounded look, he threw himself down in one of the chairs and put his feet up on the counter. "A rigid person will break during a storm, while a flexible person'll bend in the wind. And you, Oujo-san, are the most rigid person I've ever met." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, except Heero. His inflexibility surpasses even gundanium."  
  
Relena blinked. "But he's so strong. I want to be strong, too."  
  
"Strength is one thing, Oujo-san, but does Heero ever look like he's having fun? And when he snaps, he's broken. It takes him a while, and he's never happy after. He's afraid to break again, so he gets even colder and more distant."  
  
"And just when you think you're making progress," Relena added quietly, "he breaks again, and you have to watch his heart shatter, and his fingers bleed as he picks up the jagged pieces. And he won't let you help him, he has to be strong enough to do it himself."  
  
There was a pause as they considered the true statement.  
  
"Frustrating, isn't it, to only be allowed to stand aside. Like you're not even important enough to help him."  
  
"He's just a hurt little boy under the cold mask. I want to help him understand that he can let himself go with me." Relena stared at her hands in her lap.  
  
"He's not a little boy," Duo corrected quietly. "He's a grown man. The problem is that he won't let himself need anyone else." They sat in silence for a moment. "But, ch', we're wasting time," Duo said brightly after a few minutes. "Stop stalling and start those feets a-walkin', Oujo-san."  
  
Relena rolled her eyes, but stood obediently.  
  
"That's already better," Duo said, eyes twinkling. "Just keep your posture easy."  
  
*****  
  
"You have got to be kidding." Duo stared at the monsters on his feet. "These are the most uncomfortable pieces of footwear I've ever seen."  
  
"Be careful! Those are real italian leather!" she scolded. "Don't twist your body up, stand up straight! More tension in your shoulders. Remember, you're the Queen of the World."  
  
"Drag Queen of the World," Duo muttered, trying to act dignified. "I'll tell you now, though, I won't be able to walk in these."  
  
"Balance on the balls of your feet," she advised, "and swing your arms a little. Not a lot, but a little."  
  
A few hours later, he was starting to get the hang of it. "So, Oujo-san,"--he gave a dramatic pose--"is it me?"  
  
She laughed at his antics, delighted. "Pink is your color. You're going to have to start wearing the dress and the undergarments. You'll move differently in them."  
  
"It's never easy, is it?" he asked. "It's always one thing or another."  
  
"Just be glad you don't have any balls to attend," she advised mirthfully. "You'd have to learn to be graceful."  
  
"Graceful?" he cried with a pout. "I'm very graceful!"  
  
***** 


	2. A Different Problem

"...And now what do you do?"  
  
She frowned. "...turn on the autopilot?"  
  
He sighed heavily and struggled with his patience. "You have to type in the password, Oujo-san. She'll just shut right down without the password."  
  
"And the password is...?" She struggled, biting her lip in a very "Duo Maxwell"-ish way.  
  
"Begins with an 'H'," he prompted.  
  
"Heero?" she asked.  
  
"No, Oujo-san."  
  
"Hilde."  
  
"Oujo-san, you always forget this part. I musta told you a bazillion times!"  
  
"I'm sorry," she exclaimed, frustrated. Standing in a huff, she moved semi-clumsily away from the makeshift gundam consol he'd set up so she could practice . "It's a strange name!"  
  
He turned away, feeling tired and depressed. "It's Helen, Relena-san. Helen."  
  
"Well, maybe it'd help me remember if you told me about her." Relena stared at the toes of Duo's boots with more than a little malice. How she hated the clunky things, especially on her own feet!  
  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
  
Relena winked cheerfully. "Is she your girlfriend, Duo? I bet she's your girlfriend!"  
  
"I said I don't want to talk about it," Duo replied tensely, all the good humor gone from his voice.  
  
His tone booked no discussion, and she rolled her eyes at his back and gave a huff. "Well, I don't know how I'm going to remember it."  
  
Duo slowly turned and looked up, good temper strained. "I don't care how you remember it. Make something up if you want. Just remember it, or the whole plan is shot to Hell and you're screwed, Oujo-san."  
  
She sniffed. "Well, there's no reason to get crude about it."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Let's work on something else for a while, ne?"  
  
*****  
  
"I can't breathe!" she exclaimed, putting a hand to her neck.  
  
"Try breathing deeper," he suggested, making a few adjustments to the back. "From your stomach, not your chest."  
  
She shifted self-consciously, feeling incredibly naked. Sure, everything was covered, and even if it wasn't, she knew she had an incredible body, but even so... "You sure it's not too tight?"  
  
Duo nodded and handed her his shirt. "Any looser and you'd be bobbing all over the place. The bindings have to be tight, to give you a flat chest. Duo Maxwell does not have breasts!"  
  
She blushed, and he did, too, when he realized what he'd said. "Ano..." he tried to correct, swallowing, "it's just that..."  
  
She giggled and pulled the shirt over her head. "You lack breasts... for the moment."  
  
He flushed deeper, looking even more uncomfortable. "Can't we just sew them into the dress?"  
  
She shook her head, enjoying his discomfort. "They wouldn't move with your body, they'd move with the clothing. That wouldn't look real at all. You're going to have to make do with a stuffed bra." She stole the hat from his head and pulled it rakishly onto her head. "Looking good, ne?" She dropped her voice down a few notes. "Shinigami lives! ...ne?"  
  
Duo's mouth twisted with humor. "Oh, most definitely." He spoke in imitation of Relena's voice. "Though I do believe your energy level was a little less than manic." He gave her a practiced, polished politician smile.  
  
Her answering free grin was a little forced. "Just saving my energy to do... all that--man stuff."  
  
He winced, and made his expression parody Wufei's "stick-up-the-butt" haughtiness. "Maxwell, you're speaking like a woman. Weak! It is injustice for me to put up with this!"  
  
She giggled.  
  
"Oh, you think that's funny?" Duo continued, still gruffly imitating the Chinese pilot. "Stupid idiot woman. Weak! Back on L5, we didn't put up with that kind of weakness! You were lucky to get food and shoes--and we had to learn to use a sword with a twig the size of my pinky finger! Guns were for the weak! And, if you complained, justice was served straight to your behind! Your level of impudence and idiodicy wasn't tolerated! We threw you out, because you're weak! And sometimes, we threw you out even if you weren't weak, just to keep you on your toes! And now? There's no justice anymore!"  
  
Relena couldn't help herself; she was leaning heavilyl on a chair, practically in tears. "Does he really talk like that?" she asked through gasping laughter.  
  
"Not really. Only if you get him started," Duo replied, watching her with amusement. "And Duo Maxwell is an expert at getting him started."  
  
She started laughing again. "Oh... I can't breathe..." she gasped, holding her gut. "Itai..."  
  
Duo couldn't help but chuckle himself.  
  
"What's he like?" Relena asked, once she had gotten ahold of herself again.  
  
"What's Wu like?" he repeated, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to think how to describe him. "Well... he's quiet and serious. And grumpy, like Heero, but different. I mean, Heero tunes me out when I talk, but Wu-chan, he listens--God, does he listen. And he's so smart, I gotta to be careful what I say or he calls me on it, but we had some of the best conversations--okay, he called them arguments, but they were more like debates. He's very intense at times. I like to goad him into sputtering; his eyebrow does his little twitchy thing--it's hilarious. He's so considerate, too; this one time, I told him--what are you smiling about?"  
  
"Nothing," Relena sang out innocently.  
  
"Liar," Duo accused.  
  
"Your description doesn't sound anything like your impression, you little contradiction!" She grinned cheekily.  
  
"Well, he can be abrasive. And he likes to wax moralistic," Duo replied, a bit put out. "It doesn't make the other part untrue. And I am not little, thank you very much." He stuck his tongue out at her and blew her a loud raspberry. "So there."  
  
She made a noise of amusement, but continued to look too entertained for his comprehension.  
  
*****  
  
"Don't worry," she soothed, seeing the look of despair on his face, "I'll be very careful."  
  
He swallowed. "I'll be okay, Oujo-san... just get it over with." With every *snip snip snip* of the scissors, he flinched. His eyes burned with tears, and felt huge and bulging under his eyelids, but he knew it was silly to get so upset about such a silly thing, so he held it in tighter.  
  
"All done," Relena said quietly from behind him, and began to brush out his hair. "I kept it as long as possible."  
  
"I know," he whispered. It felt like a part of him--the true Duo--had come off as well. He looked down through slitted, watery eyes at the large pile of hair on the ground.  
  
"It'll grow back, sooner than you know it," Relena comforted him, setting the scissors down on the old hairdresser's counter. "Your hair must grow very quickly, to be so long."  
  
He nodded, and tentatively ran his fingers down its length.  
  
"You have such beautiful hair," she continued, as if his silence weren't unusual. "Hardly any split ends at all. It must be because you keep it in the braid all the time, ne?" When he didn't answer, she frowned a little. "Duo, are you alright?"  
  
Something changed in his face briefly, and then he was his normal self. "Nah, I'm fine, Oujo-san. After all, it's just hair. C'mon, it's time for dinner! I think I saw some clam chowder on the shelf at lunch today..."  
  
*****  
  
"Ow! Damn it, Oujo-san, that hurt!" He rubbed his burning legs and scowled. "Shit! You girls really wax your legs every damn day? That's fuckin' masochistic!"  
  
"Not every day. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" she teased.  
  
"No mother," he said cheerfully.  
  
She paused, set aback. "Well... your father?"  
  
"No family whatsoever. Well, 'cept for the other pilots, I guess." He shrugged and squirmed under the plastic on his head. "Street rat war orphan." At her shocked look, he gave her a reassuring smile. "Aw, Relena-san, it wasn't as bad as all that. Sure, food was a little tight, and there was the cold, but I had people."  
  
"Where are they?" She rubbed at her own head.  
  
His smile was sad, but his eyes met hers. "Gone, now."  
  
"Gone where?"  
  
"Dead, Oujo-san."  
  
"What happened?" she asked quietly, trying to imagine growing up without parents, without a home. Even Heero had had Owen Lowe to take care of him, and food to eat, and a home, and Heero lacked a childhood of any sort.  
  
"Oz happened. Blasted the shit outta us peons on the street." He gave a crooked smile that wasn't the least bit sincere.  
  
"The Maxwell Church Massacre...?" she whispered, finally making a connection.  
  
Duo bounded away, pretending not to hear. "Come on, Oujo-san, I think it's time to wash this crap out of our hair and become our new, improved selves, ne?"  
  
She allowed the subject to drop, and followed him to the chair. "Are you sure you're ready to become a blonde?"  
  
"Well, it's too late now to stop it, ne?" He cheerfully began to take the plastic shrink-wrap off her head and rinse out the dye. "Might as well lose some IQ points. Not like I'm using 'em."  
  
"You can say that again. And, on behalf of blondes everywhere: Hey!"  
  
*****  
  
There was a strange look in his eye as he turned to her, and a matching smile crossed his face. "You've done very well, Relena-san. You learned so much in such a short amount of time..."  
  
She blushed. "You too, Duo."  
  
There was a pause as they stared at the other person, trying to see something other than themselves. "You know," Duo blurted out, studying Relena's pink high heels sitting strangely on his own feet, "Heero really does love you. You just have to be patient."  
  
Relena blushed. "He does?" she asked softly. "Really? I always thought... well, for a while anyway, I was jealous of you."  
  
Duo shook his head. "You don't have to worry about me anymore, Oujo-san. I won't be in your way. Heero cares for you."  
  
"Thank you, Duo," she said with a smile that warmed her whole face. "I'll go for it!"  
  
Another pause filled the air as they stared at each other. "There's just something off with your costume..." Reaching back to the nape of his neck, he unfastened the clasp on the chain and took it off. Quietly, almost reverantly, he stepped forward and fastened his cross around her neck, letting it hang on his black shirt. "There," he said cheerfully, stepping back. "Now it's perfect. You remember where Deathscythe is?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Oh, one more thing," he said, handing her a small packet. "In here are four disks, one for each of the other pilots." Once again, his smile was a little strange. "They contain--instructions."  
  
"On what?" she asked, accepting the packet and putting it carefully in her pocket.  
  
"How to rescue me," he answered, eyes shuttered. Then, suddenly, he gave a little curtsey and smiled demurely. "Well, Duo-san, it's been nice to finally meet you. You better hurry and get back to your gundam before Oz gets here."  
  
Relena bit back tears and dropped into the persona she'd been practicing for the past three weeks. "Stay safe, Oujo-san! Bye bye!" Before she could change her mind, she turned on the heel of Duo's big boot and raced away for the gundam.  
  
With a sigh, Duo watched her go. And then, straightening his posture, he turned to go find Oz. He'd done it... and now, the real fun began.  
  
*****  
  
"Maxwell! Stop fooling around in that damn machine and get down here!" yelled the grouchy, black-haired man who grimaced like his hair was pulled too tightly.  
  
Tugging on Duo's hat self-consciously, she tried to use his descriptions of his teammates to identify the annoyed boy. "Chang Wufei," Relena identified under her breath, and began to climb down. "Glad to see you, too, Wufei!" she hollered down in her best impression of Duo's voice.  
  
"Where have you been, you idiot?" Wufei continued to rant as he finished whatever he was doing to his gundam. "You've been gone an entire month! Get your ass down here already!"  
  
"I'm coming as fast as I can!" she cried, frustrated. What, did he just expect her to jump? She was dressed up as Duo Maxwell, not Heero Yuy! "Geez, Wufei, hold your horses!" She finally reached the ground and gave him a hard look. "Oi, you know when dinner is? I'm hungry!"  
  
He glared at her, looking annoyed. "Quatre wanted to see you as soon as you get back."  
  
A bit unnerved at his constant glaring, she struggled to stay cheerful. "Well, I'm here, so lead the way, Wufei!" Through the material of her shirt, she could feel the folded edge of the envelope Duo had given her sticking out from her pants, and she worried the edge with her fingers a bit, to soothe herself. This was all part of Duo's plan; the other pilots would help her, they'd take her to Heero, and he'd keep her safe. "The sooner we go see Quatre, the sooner we can eat!"  
  
Muttering something in Chinese, he led the way through the compound, through the twisty hallways, and into a large room with a piano and several large cases filled with music. A short, blond boy--"Quatre Winner," Relena identified mentally--was leaning over what looked like sheets of music, and the boy next to him with his hair combed into one long bang settled carefully over his left eye--"Must be Trowa--oh, begins with a B--Barton," she confirmed--looked up first, nudging Quatre.  
  
She grinned cheekily. "So, guys--didya miss me?"  
  
Almost before the final word was out of her mouth, she found a sword at her throat. Wufei held it steadily, glaring at her.  
  
"Wufei!" Quatre yelped, moving to restrain the Chinese boy. He stilled when Trowa's hand came down on his shoulder. "Trowa? What's going on?"  
  
"Who are you?" Wufei asked Relena, voice acidic. "And what have you done with Maxwell?"  
  
She stumbled back a step, hands raised. "I--uh..."  
  
"Wufei's right," Trowa put in, voice quiet and suspicious and strangely dead to her ears. "You're not Duo."  
  
"Sure I am!" Relena cried desperately.  
  
"What's going on in here?" a familiar voice asked from the doorway behind her.  
  
"This dishonorable weakling is impersonating Maxwell, of all people," the Chinese boy answered with a terrifying scowl.  
  
"Heero!" Relena exclaimed, running and ducking behind the familiar boy. She hugged him from behind. "Heero, save me!"  
  
He blinked, and looked down to her hand as it reached from behind to clutch his shirt. "Relena?" His voice was almost incredulous. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I..." She smiled at him as he pulled away from her clinging form to look at her. Then she paused and looked around the room at the tree other pilots--and realized she didn't know what to say.  
  
There was a silence in the room as she stared at them and they stared back. Finally, Quatre was the one to break the silence.  
  
"Um, Relena-sama? Why are you wearing Duo's clothes?"  
  
"Oh!" she exclaimed, "it was his idea! He's wearing my clothes!"  
  
There was another silence as everyone digested that factoid. "Maxwell's taken up cross-dressing?" Wufei asked skeptically. "Try again, woman!"  
  
She fumbled into her pocket for the packet with their instructions on it. "He switched places with me so I could get back in time for my hearing. He needs you guys to go get him--he sent instructions."  
  
The corner of the envelope caught on the edge of her pocket for a moment in her hurry to pass them out. "I was going to wait until I found Heero--because I know he'd know what to do. The rest of you I couldn't really be sure of." Finally getting it free, she opened it up and shook out the contents, revealing four CDs labeled with the pilots' names. Picking his up from the top of the stack, Quatre nodded. "You guys stay here with her. I'll go check out what Duo has to say, okay?"  
  
The three other boys nodded, all staring at Relena dressed in Duo's clothes and braid.  
  
*****  
  
Quatre sat down at his computer and slid the CD into the drive. After a few seconds, Duo's face popped on screen.  
  
"Hey, Q-man! It's me!" Duo grinned manically and flashed the victory sign before sobering. "Well, as you may or may not have heard by now--I know how Oujo-san can be with details--she got herself into trouble in an old abandoned building and we had to switch places to get her out in time for the trial against Oz. I know you're probably looking for my master plan, but--hey, you know me, I've always been an improv type of guy. By the time you get this, it'll be too late. Oz's probably killed me already, and if you've taken the time to think this through, you've figured that out." He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Quatre... you've been a real good friend to a guy like me, and I'm sorry for all the times I annoyed you. Try to enjoy the peace, okay? Stick with Trowa... you guys are such a cute couple! I know he loves you a lot, even if he doesn't say it as much as he should.   
  
"But, trust me, Quatre: this is for the best. I know nothing good happened in my life, so... maybe in my death I can do some good." He scratched his head nervously. "You've always been a great friend, Quatre. Don't take this too badly, 'cause it's not your fault, and I know that's what you're thinking, so don't deny it. It just happened this way. Try... try to keep Heero... well, make him... he might take this a little weird, so please be careful, okay? And, watch out for Wu. He's--he's really alone. Stay safe, Quatre." He grinned, and the screen once more became black.  
  
The Arabian stared at the screen, face pale. He felt cold creeping up his spine as he played Duo's message again. And again. And again. And again.  
  
He felt detached from his body, oddly enough. Calmly, more calmly than he thought possible with the ice in his back and climbing his shoulders with little finger-like tendrils, he walked back to the library.  
  
What ever conversation Wufei and Relena had been having broke off suddenly at his entrance, and Trowa rose from his seat with a small frown on his face and asked Quatre what was wrong, because he looked a little pale, and Quatre felt cold all over all of the sudden, because he had to be the one to tell them, damn Duo for putting his CD on top.  
  
"There's no instructions," Quatre finally said. "Duo wanted to tell me..." He suddenly, out of nowhere, felt the ice drain and the tears start, and Trowa was holding him tightly to his chest before he even knew he was sobbing.  
  
"What?" Trowa prompted gently.  
  
Quatre forced his eyes away from Trowa's and made himself look at Heero and Wufei. "There is no plan. Duo's already dead."  
  
"No," Relena said. "No, that's not right. We were just trading places for a bit, and then you guys could go help him out. That's the plan..." She trailed off at the look of anger on Wufei's face.  
  
"Damn it, you stupid woman," he yelled furiously, "this is all your fault!"  
  
"But I didn't--"  
  
"Damn!" he breathed, furious, and picked up his CD and stomped out of the room. 


	3. The Solution?

*****  
  
Feeling strange recieving a message from a dead Duo, Trowa waited patiently for the video clip to flicker on.  
  
Duo's cheerful face wavered into view, and he grinned. "Hey, Trowa, it's me. Um, I'd just like to apologize for all the times I ticked you off. I just, y'know, was a little bored, and you guys always seem so serious... it was the obvious solution. I was just having a little fun; I know I was annoying, but I hope you can forgive me. God, you must think I'm being really strange, but if you haven't guessed by now... I'm not coming back.  
  
"You and I, Trowa, we were never really that close. In fact, I can't remember you ever really even touching me--well, except for that one time in Oz when you punched me in the stomach--damn, but that hurt!" He rubbed his stomach as the old injury gave a phantom pain. "You don't pull your punches, do you?--and, yeah, that time last month where you socked me in the eye. Can't say I didn't deserve it, either time.  
  
"But, anyway, I'm babbling, which is painfully obvious, ne? I just wanted to explain to you what was going on, so you could understand--and maybe, when the others are ready, you could tell them, if you want. If you don't mind. But, they won't be ready. Not yet.  
  
"You see, I'm taking Relena-san's place so she can testify against Oz. If they're smart at all, they'll kill me as soon as they find me--well, maybe a day or so after they capture me, if I'm lucky. Or, maybe that's unlucky. But, I've figured it all out--it's gonna take Oujo-san at least a day to get back to the safe house, maybe longer, since she's going on autopilot. I'll get out if I can, but Oz isn't stupid, and they have some damn good locks on their doors. I'm really sorry, but it doesn't look like you're gonna have to kill me for that hairspray stunt after all, ne?"  
  
Duo's smile turned sad. "Take care of Quatre, but don't smother him. He's stronger than he looks, and even though he might take it hard at first, he'll be okay. He loves you very much. I want you to know that I never tried to take him away from you; I was just--lonely. He's--he was a good friend of mine, and I just wanted to--" He closed his eyes for a moment. "Babbling, ne? Take care of him, Trowa! Ja!" The message fizzled, and was gone.  
  
Trowa stared blankly at the static in disbelief.  
  
*****  
  
"Hey, Wu-chan. Yeah, yeah, I know, don't call you that. Well," Duo stuck his tongue out at the camera. "Hey, you alone? Don't watch this with the others. They can't... they won't... I don't want them to hear what I have to say, okay?" Wufei gripped the edge of the desk as Duo looked at him urgently from the screen. "This is just for me and you.  
  
"It's simple, really: that dumb blonde of Heero's got herself in trouble, and the only way to get her out in time for the trial is in Deathscythe. I don't want to, I really don't... but, for peace, Wu? I'm only a soldier; I'm worth it.  
  
"God, Wu-chan, this is hard. I saved your message for last, 'cause I knew it was gonna be tough. But, Wu, I just wanted you to know that... you're my best friend. And, I know we haven't always gotten along in the past, but I thought we'd found some common ground, and you're a real special guy. You're funny, and you're nice, and sometimes you have a stick up your butt, but we've been working on that. Don't let my hard work go to waste!"  
  
His tone sobered a bit. "I'm gonna explain this to you. I know you need to hear it; the others..." He shook his head. "'Sides, you're the strongest person I know, and I need to tell someone--" his voice cracked, "--that I'm so fucking scared. This isn't suicide--not really. I mean, I thought hard. I looked for other solutions, I really did, but, Wu-chan, if Relena lives, it's the end of the war. Peace. You deserve peace, Wu--the world does. And, this is one of those situations where the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."  
  
"Damn it, Maxwell," Wufei hissed, "I'm going to strangle Yuy--"  
  
Duo looked away from the camera and sighed. "Don't blame Heero, Wu-chan. Maybe he's rubbing off on me--hell, maybe I'm just sick of being alone. But, I'm over him." He laughed, a little bitterly. "Figures I'd get over my stupid, pointless crush right before I die, huh?  
  
"Oh, and Wu-chan? Don't blame yourself. Our fight was inevitable; I just have this way with annoying people. It just proves it's me, not you, not Heero, not anybody. I'm the one who screws up, not you guys, so--God, I'm rambling.  
  
"But, since I think I've killed my nice little segue, I'll just dive right into the topic. Wu-chan, I know this is horribly unfair, but I need you to be strong for everyone. You're good at it, and they need someone to lean on, especially Heero. I don't think he realizes the depth of his emotional attachments. You may be my best friend, but I think I'm the only friend he's got. He's gonna pretend he's alright, and I need you to make sure he spends some time with Relena. Yeah, Wu, she's annoying, but they get each other. She'll be good for him. Hell, if not her, then who?  
  
"Wu, thanks for everything you've done for me. You're my best friend. Please--remember: No one is alone. Not even you. I... I'm sorry."  
  
He wanted to cry. He could feel the tears bloating his eyes, but they wouldn't come. He wouldn't let them.  
  
Because he wasn't sad. He wasn't *grieving* like a stupid weakling. He was angry. Duo couldn't--  
  
It couldn't be too late.  
  
Gritting his teeth, he opened a contact channel to a source and sent out a questioning email.  
  
*****  
  
With a calmness that was entirely physical, Heero slid the CD into the drive and waited for the message to pop up on the screen.  
  
Duo's face, when it appeared, was serene, a far cry from it's normal hyper quality. "Hey, Heero, it's me. Oz is finally gonna get my sorry carcass--guess I just wasn't meant to be a soldier. Just worry 'bout Oujo-san--I know she's annoying, but I think you'll learn to enjoy her if you just give her a chance.  
  
"I just wanted to say thanks. For putting up with me. I know it wasn't always easy.  
  
"Heero, I..." He trailed off, and a strange smile flitted onto his face. "Goodbye, Heero."  
  
What was that look on his face?  
  
Suddenly, his door slammed open, and he hoped if he sat very still, Relena wouldn't see him. The excited voice that greeted him, however, was not that silly chit's twittering, but a much more pleasant one. Though, it *was* strange to hear Wufei excited about anything.  
  
"Heero, I have the blueprints, I know where he is, and I know how to get him out. They haven't figured out he's not the onna--or, at least, if they have, they're not saying anything--but his execution is scheduled for eight hours from now. Get Zero and let's head out." Wufei scowled. "Well, Yuy? Do you want to rescue the baka or not?"  
  
Heero stood. "Ninmu kanryu."  
  
*****  
  
"Well, Relena-sama? Where are they?"  
  
Duo felt like laughing. *Really* laughing. Possibly hysterically. It figured--allow himself to be kidnapped for a routine killing, and what happens? They want to know where some fucking file he'd never even *heard* of is. Fucking wonderful. He chose not to answer, and instead, gave his best martyred "Do what you like, you wicked, horrid men, but I'll never tell" look. He considered flicking them off, but that was not something Oujo-san would do.  
  
Or was it? He considered at great length, weighing both the pros and cons.  
  
A hard slap across the face didn't end his musing, but it did make it a bit more difficult. "Perhaps you misunderstood the question when the others were asking. I will make sure there are no such misunderstandings, understand?"  
  
Nod, or don't waste the energy? Honestly, this torture was only torture because of how tedious it was. He'd had worse beatings when he lived on the street, and in ten mintues. At least gangs were quick in their work.  
  
The true torture was waiting to die. Shit, but it was hard to fight the panic at his inevitable death. He bit it back; he wasn't getting shot in the head, execution-style, possibly at point-blank range, just yet. He forced himself to focus on the ridiculous torture.  
  
"You are Relena Peacecraft, aren't you?" the haughty man--General of some sort, maybe?--asked Duo.  
  
"Damn straight," almost slipped out of his mouth, and he bit his tongue before replying, summoning all his diginty. "I have no need to speak to the likes of you." Oh, he congratulated himself, very cold!  
  
"Bitch!" the ugly man swore, losing his cool and slapping him again. Why were the Oz generals all ugly as hell? Well, except Kushrenada. He was kind of hot, but the rest of them--dogs, all!  
  
He tried not to roll his eyes, and to look properly chastised.  
  
"Tell me where the HQR75 files are!"  
  
"I don't know," he whispered, Relena-pitiful. "I don't even know what you're talking about."  
  
"Liar!" the man declared, and suddenly Duo felt all the wind knocked out of him. Damn it, why did everyone always go for the stomach? He'd lost track the number of times he'd been punched, kicked, or otherwise beaten severely in the gut.  
  
He doubled over, clutching his middle, and let out a girly shriek. Okay, that one stung a little. Okay, more than a little.  
  
"If you don't tell me where the files are, I shall be forced to kill you," Big Ugly General-Man threatened.  
  
"You're going to kill me anyway," Duo wheezed, hoping his suddenly shitty falsetto would be blamed on his lack of breath. "Why should I tell you anything?"  
  
"There are ways to die," the general said sadistically, "and then there are ways to die."  
  
Man, this guy thought he was a class-act! Duo snorted internally, and the man kicked him in the stomach in a sudden show of rage. Hard.  
  
"Fine," the man said, after taking a short pause to regain equilibrium. "Still won't talk? The files don't matter that much. I'm sending you to the gas chamber in two hours. Enjoy the rest of your life." With that, he left with his lackeys, and the door swung shut behind them.  
  
"Hey!" Duo wheezed, wincing as he sat up. Oh, his stomach hurt. The Gas Chamber? What the hell did this guy think this was, WWII?  
  
What a sucky way to die. "Oujo-san," he groaned, "you better win that fucking trial." Suffocation... could he strangle himself before then? It was one thing to die in the heat of battle, beatened by your foe(s), but it was quite another to be shepherded into a room where poisoned gas was pumped into your lungs until they burned and sizzled, and you coughed up, and eventually drowned in, your own blood and pieces of your own lungs. Couldn't they spare just one bullet through the middle of his head to give him a humane death?  
  
Flopping down on his back, he stared up at the ceiling. A maximum-security prison. Key-card locks, so no picking them with his lockpick. Tiny airducts--he was practically suffocating in here already, no gas chamber needed, thank you very much. No hope of poisoned food or water.  
  
God, the last time he'd been in a prison like this had been with Wu-chan and Heero, back when Trowa had infiltrated Oz. At least Wu had been with him then, and they were going to die together, in their sleep. Not alone. Not like this.  
  
Okay, he was sending himself into a panic now. Time to stop thinking--his brain was on overload, and he couldn't stop. Damn, he was going to miss Wu 'n' the guys... what was he thinking? He wasn't going to miss anybody! He was going to be dead!  
  
Just as he was starting to worry about hyperventilating, the door opened and Quatre came in. "Duo?"  
  
"Quatre? What are you doing here?" He looked over, to see the strange, strange sight of Quatre wearing an Oz guard uniform, and felt suddenly, oddly calmed. "And what are you wearing?"  
  
"I'm here to get you out, of course," the boy said, surprised. "Can you walk?"  
  
"I think so," he said, confused. "I'm supposed to die in an hour. Talk about timing!"  
  
"I know," the blond said, and hauled him to his feet.  
  
He winced and pressed a hand to his stomach in pain before remembering what he was wearing. "Hey, Q? I don't suppose you brought me a uniform of my own, didya? Q?"  
  
Quatre was staring. "You make a very convincing girl."  
  
"Q!" Duo snapped. "Focus so we can leave, okay?"  
  
"Right, right," the boy said. "There are unconscious guards in the hallway." He couldn't stop staring, though, and that weirded Duo out.  
  
"Right then," he responded, giving the blond a strange look before moving to the hallway to pull a guard in. Oh, but his abdominal muscles hurt!  
  
"Duo! Are you okay?" Quatre asked when he paused to grimace. "Are you hurt?"  
  
"Nothing I can't handle," Duo replied, shaking it off. The guard was a little taller than him, and the fit a little looser than it should have been, but it would pass. After dressing carefully (and tucking his stuffed bra into the pouch Quatre brought with him; no use letting Oz know they didn't really have Relena), they headed out to the pickup point.  
  
*****  
  
When they were safely away from the base and back at the hideout, and Duo had a chance to change his clothes *again*, Heero turned to him and punched him in the shoulder. Hard.  
  
"Damn it, Heero!" he shouted, grabbing his shoulder. "What the hell was that for?"  
  
The pilot crossed his bare arms over his dark green tank top and glared at him. "That was a stupid stunt you pulled." Then, unexepectedly, he lunged forward and wrapped Duo in a hug.  
  
The braided boy, caught completely unawares, just stood there and blinked as the other squished his throbbing shoulder and stomach. "Heero?" he asked uncertainly. "I thought you weren't...?"  
  
"I thought you were dead, and you'd stop nagging me," the other boy muttered a bit incoherently, and pulled away abruptly.  
  
Duo frowned. "Where's Oujo-san? Doesn't she have to be at the trial?"  
  
Heero frowned, remembering. "We're leaving now," he declared, and went to go get her.  
  
The other just stood there, blinking, confused. Had Heero just hugged him? His world had become very strange, where he dressed up as Relena and Heero slugged him and then hugged him and then practically ran away to the real Relena. He rubbed his shoulder again. Man, didn't *anybody* pull their punches when they beat on him?  
  
"You're such a baka," Wufei's voice hissed from behind him, and Duo spun around.  
  
"I know, Wu-chan," he said with a crooked smile.  
  
"To think I'd let a stupid fight get in the way of our friendship!" Wufei took a step forward. "Maxwell, what kind of dishonorable cur do you think I am? I'm not heartless!"  
  
"You seemed really pissed," Duo said quietly. God, the past few days--hell, the past *month* was starting to take a toll on him. "Didn't you listen to the message, Wu? I was just tired."  
  
"Maxwell, you are--you--I don't even know what you are! But, don't you ever, *ever* leave me with a message like that again! *Ever*!" Turning on his heel, he stalked away, out of the hanger, towards the forest outside.  
  
Duo was confused. Stupified. Tired. "Wu?" he asked the air in the Chinese boy's wake, but the air didn't answer. He turned around again to find Quatre standing where Heero had been before, and nearly jumped out of his skin. Feeling like he was watching a ping-pong match, he swallowed and asked, "Q? What's going on?"  
  
"Oh, Duo," the blond Arabian said warmly, a sympathetic smile on his face, "he was just worried."  
  
"Worried?" he echoed stupidly, feeling suddenly like he had meandered into an Advanced Physics class taught in Portugues. "About what?"  
  
Quatre's eyebrows shot up. "Duo!"  
  
He winced and shook his head, smoothing down the loose hair on the top of his head and combing the ends with his fingers. He frowned. Blond hair? Oh, right. Hmph. He wondered if it would wash out. "I'm sorry, it's just been a long day." His tight smile was a little wry. "I better..." he gestured towards the door Wufei had stalked out of.  
  
Quatre smiled. "Go on, Duo. Dinner will be at seven-thirty, if you're hungry."  
  
Duo nodded absently, but he had already begun to wander outside. 


	4. The Revelation

*****  
  
He found Wufei sitting on a small rock on the cliff overlooking the ocean, staring out at the water. The sun was low in the sky, and the orange-pink light reflecting from the waves gave the Chinese boy's skin a tone more brilliantly golden than usual. The boy was pensive, and his glare aimed at the water rivaled even stoic Heero's frown.  
  
Duo just stood a few feet behind him, feeling the breeze tease the material of his t-shirt and cut at his legs through his jeans. The salty smell of the sea had a soporific effect on him, and he struggled to think of what to say, and finally settled for his first instinct.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Wufei didn't respond for a moment, and when he did, he didn't turn to look at Duo. "I know."  
  
Duo's face was sad. "I really thought they were going to kill me on sight."  
  
The other still didn't move. "I know."  
  
"Relena had to survive. She's too important to the peace of the world to die right now."  
  
"I know."  
  
"The messages--I just wanted to say goodbye."  
  
"I know."  
  
Duo struggled past the rock that had lodged itself in his throat. "Wu, are you okay?"  
  
"Am I okay?" the other boy mused, and Duo suddenly realized how angry Wufei was. "Am I okay? Let's think for a moment, Maxwell. My best friend disappears for a month, and suddenly I get a message from him via the girlfriend of his crush that says he sacrificed his life for world peace. I discover that's a lie, concoct a plan to break him out, and all he can say is 'sorry'." He stood and turned to face the American pilot. "So, Maxwell, am I okay?" His eyes were blazing, and he moved towards Duo like a tiger approaching prey. "Am I okay, Maxwell?!"  
  
"I'm thinking 'no'," Duo said quietly, trying to break the tension.  
  
"Damn you, Duo!" His fist shot out, striking at Duo's face, but the Deathscythe pilot grabbed his wrist and stepped out of the path of the blow. "You idiot," Wufei yelled, and Duo just pulled his friend close into a hug. "Damn you," Wufei began to sob, to his own embarassment. "I was so scared..."  
  
"Shh," he comforted, wrapping his arms around Wufei and holding him tight. He could feel the other boy's hot tears on his neck and soaking his shirt, and he rubbed his back, beginning to cry himself. If Wu could cry, maybe it wasn't so weak... "It's okay," he murmured through his own tears, "I'm okay now, we're all safe." The words weren't important; neither boy was paying attention to them.  
  
Wufei's arms clung to him, reminicient of a vice, his hands holding fistfuls of Duo's shirt. "I was so scared," he whispered again and again. "I was so scared."  
  
They rocked back and forth in the breeze until the tears had subsided, and then they just stood there in the dying light, holding each other, feeling the warmth of the other body in the cool sea air.  
  
"When I first saw you--Relena," Wufei finally murmured into his neck, "I thought something was wrong. It wasn't until she called me Wufei that I knew for sure it wasn't you. She just kept calling me 'Wufei' over and over and over, and I just got so mad. I thought... I didn't know... and you disappeared on the mission all month... you said you'd be back in a week or two... I thought, maybe..."  
  
Duo pressed the side of his face more firmly into the glossy, black hair. "I'm sorry," he said again.  
  
"I know," the other repeated, but the words were calmer, the anger gone. Picking his head up from Duo's shoulder, he looked at the other boy with black-brown eyes a little reddened from crying.  
  
Duo's irises were ringed with red, too, and he lifted one of his hands to smooth away a small strand of hair too short to fit in Wufei's ponytail.  
  
"I liked your hair better before," Wufei said, rubbing a lock of ash-blond hair through his fingers.  
  
"I'll never get it out," he said back, eyes darkening a little again.  
  
"We'll wash as much out as possible," Wufei returned quietly, "and then we'll dye it back." He moved his fingers through the free length. Duo looked so different with his hair free, nevermind dyed and cut. "It'll grow."  
  
Duo nodded, and they were quiet again for a while, just basking in the glow of the setting sun. "If Oujo-san does her job right, the war is over," he finally whispered.  
  
"Peace will be nice," Wufei returned just as quietly. "What are you going to do?"  
  
"I don't know," Duo breathed.  
  
Leaning forward the few inches, Wufei brushed his lips against Duo's once, twice, three times before the kiss caught, and then their warm lips were gliding together in the chill of the night and the wind coming in off the ocean, and they didn't even realize when the kiss deepened. It was a very easy kiss, the passion lazily winding its way around them stealthily until they were bound together, intertwined, and it didn't matter anymore that it was actually getting quite cold outside, and that the sun was almost completely hidden behind the horizon, because they were making their own heat. The kiss, so mild and tender at first, heated with the dimming of the light until it was an inferno, and it didn't hurt that their hands were moving everywhere--friction!--and all they could think of was how wonderful everything was.  
  
One of Duo's hands had ventured under Wufei's white jacket and even the tanktop, and then up his back, delighting in the warm, smooth skin stretched over the bones and muscles. The other hand was cupping his head, holding it closer and possibly at a better angle to devour his mouth. His fingers, however, could hardly restrain from combing through the silky hair, and he groaned into the other's mouth, "Wu..."  
  
"Duo," Wufei responded in a delerious moan, but didn't pause the kiss. His left hand had settled quite happily to the base of Duo's neck, fingers tangled in the free hair, lightly massaging his scalp. His right hand, however, the more daring, had travelled farther south than Duo's hip and kept rubbing from his lower back down to the curve of his butt and back up again, and down, and up, until Duo could scarcely do anything but make happy noises and kiss Wufei like his life depended on it. Everywhere Wu's hands touched came alive suddenly with burning tingles and a wonderful searing feeling that made him feel imprinted with Wufei, and he knew this was right. It was what he'd always dreamed of, this feeling of unity and passion.  
  
Finally, they paused to pant, leaning on each other, hands stilling but not retreating.  
  
"You sure?" Wufei asked when he could speak. His eyes were black, the intensity of his feelings clearly displayed.  
  
"You were married," Duo said breathlessly, wonderously. Those eyes were hypnotic, and he noticed the different shades of black and dark brown Wu's eyes could turn. "To a woman."  
  
"Arranged."  
  
"Oh. Yeah. You?"  
  
"Yes. For keeps, right?"  
  
"God, yes. Same?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
And then, Duo's stomach spoke up in a loud, gurgling voice.  
  
Both of the boys began to laugh. "Sorry, Wu-chan." Duo said sheepishly. "It's been a few days since I had any real food... and before that we had cold canned stuff, which was crap. What time is it?"  
  
Wufei lifted his left hand from its comfortable perch on Duo's bottom to see his watch, and squinted in the fading light. "Quarter to seven," he replied, and dropped his hand back.  
  
"Q promised dinner at seven-thirty," the American replied, "so we still have some time."  
  
"You need a shower," Wufei told him, and reluctantly let go so they could walk in. His hand found Duo's however, and they didn't have to sever their connection.  
  
"I do," Duo admitted, too tired to make a joke. "Wanna come?"  
  
It would have taken a better man than Chang Wufei to forego that offer.  
  
*****  
  
It was suddenly exhilarating, and Wufei knew he was giving Duo disgustingly silly lovey-dovey looks, but Duo didn't seem to mind. He was even giving a few of them back. His lips were curved into a smile, and his eyes were dark and soft, but still brilliant, still teasing.  
  
He turned around to turn on the water, so that the water began to spray down gently behind them in the tub.  
  
"Wu," Duo said, and, yeah, that was annoying, but not quite so annoying as the Chinese boy liked to pretend it was--not that he'd let anyone else get away with it. Anyone else would get the shit beat out of 'em.  
  
He turned, saw that teasing smile again, and couldn't resist giving Duo a deep kiss; the other tasted addictive, indescribable. He practically came out of it humming. With a shy smile to convey how perfect he felt--sure, he was half-hard and certain parts of him were begging to be touched again, but this was *Duo*--he put his hands on Duo's sides and gave him a little squeeze.  
  
Duo flinched, and Wufei flinched in response, automatically stepping back and pulling his hands away as if burned. "What?"  
  
Duo shook his head and gave him an apologetic look, and Wufei suddenly thought it was a hell of a time for Duo to change his mind--but, no, that indescribable feeling was still there behind the apology, deep in his violet eyes. Wufei wondered how he'd ever missed it before; it wasn't a new emotion when the American pilot was looking at him.  
  
Then he frowned, and very gently lifted the edge of the t-shirt, peeling it up and over Duo's head. His expression softened to sympathy, and he dropped to one knee to examine Duo's stomach. A giant bruise covered the expanse, dark and painful looking. He ghosted his fingers over it. Oh, Duo...  
  
He hadn't realized he'd said it aloud until he felt Duo's fingers lifting his chin. "It wasn't so bad." His smile was small, but so gentle, so sincere. "Not bad at all. I've had much worse."  
  
"I'm sorry," Wufei whispered, and allowed himself to be pulled up into a hug.  
  
"Sh," Duo responded, and Wufei frowned at the lone bruise on his shoulder, far from the others and livid black-purple against the pale skin. "Heero," came the answer to the unasked question.  
  
Wufei frowned again. It wasn't right.  
  
"No more of that," Duo scolded gently. "The water's getting cold." His fingers moved to the white collar on Wufei's jacket and began to undo the buttons. "'Sides, Wu-chan, I wanna see your hot body."  
  
He could feel his face burning--probably his neck, too, if the way Duo was giggling was any clue. "Maxwell!"  
  
"What, you don't have a hot body?" Duo asked mischeviously, the sparkle in his eye distinctly devilish as he finished the last button and ran his hands down Wufei's arms to remove the jacket. His fingers deftly worked the hairtie out of the short ponytail. "Well, I think you do." He pulled off the tanktop, and moved his hands down to the drawstring on his pants.  
  
Suddenly spurred into action--though still flushing like mad--Wufei's fingers fumbled with the button on Duo's jeans, and then the zipper, and then Duo was pulling off his pants and underwear, and he was doing the same for him. With one last "come hither" look, Duo hopped in the tub.  
  
Wufei didn't have to be asked twice.  
  
There definitely was some groping going on--they were both painfully hard after a few minutes of the shower--but they spent most of the time washing Duo's hair, shampooing and rinsing and repeating until they couldn't stand it anymore, and Duo threw Wufei against the wall.  
  
"Duo!" Wufei gasped, though the pleased tone in his voice ruined the reproach. The water pounded down on them, and their fingers slid around the slick skin teasingly. Unlike the earlier kiss on the cliff, this encounter wasn't slow at all, and only mildly gentle. Wufei bumped Duo on the hip with his erection, poking him a couple times with it to be sure this wasn't another dream, that, yes, Duo was here, and yes, they really were doing this.  
  
"You have the best body, Wu-chan" Duo told him, and licked a nipple. "Not too thin, but not over-muscled."  
  
Wufei just whimpered and trickled his fingers around the curve of Duo's ass.  
  
"With your hair down," Duo continued between kisses, "you look incredibly sexy."  
  
Wufei thrust involuntarily against his lover. "Duo, please..."  
  
In response, Duo moved back up to his lips and kissed him on the mouth, hard and short. "Do you want to...?"  
  
Wufei shook his head. Duo was injured. "You're hurt..."  
  
"I'm not breakable!" the boy protested.  
  
The Chinese man comprimised. "In me."  
  
Duo began to kiss him again, evidently agreeing to the bargain, and his fingers trailed down to Wu's ass. Slowly, carefully, he began to work a finger in, while still mapping the inside of the other boy's mouth with his tongue. The water rained down on them, still hot and blessedly gentle. Wufei reached over to the edge of the tub and grabbed the bottle of conditioner.  
  
One finger, two, and Wufei was propped up against the wall, legs spread, Duo's tongue *mated* to the inside of his mouth; he was never letting go. He was *ready*, damn it, and the third finger felt great but he was ready for Duo *now*. He could feel Duo's strong arms supporting him, and so he lifted his legs and wrapped them around Duo's waist, careful of the bruise, but Duo didn't even wince, so he figured he was doing it right, doing *something* right, and then, all of the sudden, he could feel Duo slipping in and, God, it was bigger than three fingers--  
  
It was splitting him in two--  
  
But then it was perfect, dispite the pain that suddenly flared, dispite the oddity of it all, and they both stood there, panting, adjusting, while the water beat down on their joined, overheated flesh.  
  
When Duo began to move, Wufei didn't know how he'd ever gotten along without him, without *this*. With every thrust he made, Duo moaned a little: "Wufei! ...Wu! ...Wu..." Wufei wanted to hold Duo inside him; he whispered Duo's name and clung tightly to him, and this sex was strange, yes, but this was Duo, and he trusted Duo with this.  
  
When they both came, they lowered themselves to the floor of the tub and lay there while the hot water--Quatre must have the biggest damn waterheater money could buy; evidently this was something he and Trowa did often and he planned accordingly when making safehouse arrangements, because what else would you need one this big for?--rushed down on their bodies, rinsing away the physical evidence of their coupling.  
  
"Wo ai ni, Duo," Wufei finally whispered, holding him.  
  
"Love you, too, Wu," Duo said back, and they finished washing off in silence.  
  
******  
  
It was seven-thirty-eight before Quatre and Trowa finished with the salad course, and, incidentally, about that same time that Duo and Wufei came down to the table. Duo's hair was darker than before, closer to his original color but still slightly blonde, and back in a braid. The braid itself wasn't nearly as long as it used to be, but it was long enough. They were both showing signs of coming straight from the shower.  
  
"I," Duo declared, practically falling into his chair, "am starved."  
  
"You're always starved," Wufei responded, taking the seat next to him, but the tone was one of affection rather than disapproval.  
  
"I'm a growing boy," the Deathscythe pilot protested. "Besides, I haven't had a good meal in a month."  
  
"Relena told me all about the twinkies," Wufei said.  
  
Duo groaned. "I'll never eat those monstrosities again."  
  
"'Monstrosities'?" Quatre asked. What an un-Duo-like word!  
  
The boy groaned again. "It's all Oujo-san's fault. Wu-chan, save me!"  
  
"You're beyond saving, Maxwell," Wufei said with a hint of smugness, buttering a roll. "Justice!"  
  
"Beyond saving!" Duo wailed. "Wu-chan! You're horrible!" He batted his eyelashes. "You won't even try?"  
  
"I might be persuaded..."  
  
"A-ano..." Quatre stuttered, and the two looked over at him. "You two... are you...?"  
  
"Watch out, Q," Duo snickered, seizing Wufei's hand like a prize. "It's the end of the world! Wu-chan got some!"  
  
"Duo!" Wufei sputtered, turning a bright red and yanking his hand away.  
  
"He's a little shy," Duo told the stunned Trowa and Quatre in a confidential tone.  
  
"Maxwell, I am not shy!" he protested.  
  
"Prove it," Duo shot back, cheeks dimpling like crazy.  
  
"No!" Wufei snapped. "Eat your dinner, Maxwell."  
  
"Spoil sport," Duo said cheerfully, and began to eat. Quatre's servants began to bring out the main course, and the blond boy's eyes widened at the amount of food Duo consumed.  
  
"Duo, you're going to make yourself sick," Quatre warned.  
  
"Am not!" the boy contested. "Just gotta feed the beast." He patted his stomach happily. "You know, a piece of chocolate cake would really hit the spot..."  
  
Quatre looked at his friend oddly for a moment before smiling. "Of course, Duo."  
  
It was half-way between the dessert course before anyone realized Duo was practically sleeping in his plate of cake crumbs.  
  
"Duo," Wufei said quietly, putting a hand on the other's shoulder--carefully, though, because it was the bruised one.  
  
"Hm?" Duo responded, looking up blearily.  
  
"Time for bed," he said gently, pulling him up.  
  
"Hm," Duo hummed, and smiled.  
  
"Oh, but first," Wufei said quietly, glancing over at Quatre. And then, leaning over, he brushed a light kiss over Duo's lips.  
  
Quatre blushed a little, and so did Wufei, but Trowa just watched quietly. Duo gave a sleepy smile and swung his arm around Wufei. "Night, Quatre, Trowa." They were all the way out of the room and at the foot of the stairs before Quatre heard Duo's last sentance:  
  
"By the way, Q--nice water heater. I didn't know they came that big. Didja have to special order it?"  
  
Even Trowa blushed at that. 


	5. Afterword: An epilogue of sorts

After Word:  
  
Relena and Heero? He protected her from Oz during the trial, and after the war ended, they dated responsibly for a few years until they were both of age, and then Heero finally decided he was tired of being a soldier, and they got married.   
  
Quatre and Trowa ended up having a huge fight, and they reconciled after a year and a few months because they just couldn't live without each other.   
  
Duo and Wufei, to everyone's surprise, continued to bicker/banter about many things, but were also happier than anyone had seen them. They joined the Preventers for a while, and then, after a few complaints about a certain somebody's insane humor being a tad inappropriate for diplomatic work (which they should have known), Duo changed to head mechanic and test pilot for the Preventers, while Wufei dropped from active status to teach the new recruits so he could be with Duo. They ate good food, drank good drink, and were generally quite happy.  
  
All the pilots and Relena reunited every Christmas and occasionally on a birthday, and generally kept in touch. Wufei still can't believe Duo dressed up as Relena, and to this day, Quatre still has dreams about Duo in a dress.  
  
Eventually, they all get old and die. The end. Happy now? 


End file.
